Disconnect

I live for the stage. There is nothing quite like pouring my heart in soul into a performance under the bright lights. It’s exhilarating and freeing; it’s true joy. I’ve spent most of my life performing in some way or the other, even if I was not technically on a stage.

Always an extrovert, performing in front of strangers, and even speaking to strangers was never really a problem for me. Friends and conversations not only came easily but also as if they were natural to me. However, this seems to have changed.

My group of friends has greatly diminished, but the few that remain are the true, real friends (and I wouldn’t give that up for anything). My ease of conversation has diminished as well; I’ve noticed at times, even with my close friends, I struggle to find topics to discuss and enjoy a conversation around. Recently, I’ve had a struggle holding conversations with acquaintances and co-workers, due to my lack of interest and knowledge in the “everyday American life.” For example, I do not watch television shows or really know, nor care, about the day to day lives of these individuals. This causes a disconnection in conversations as I am unaware of what they are talking about, and I really just don’t care. But now, this struggle has begun to seep into my closer relationships.

Instead of going out on Friday nights with a bunch of friends, partying and dancing, I prefer to stay in with the honey and read and find meaningful conversations. I love this about my life. But I seem to have completely wrapped up in myself and my own world.