So often when individuals refer to their significant others they evoke the term “they complete me,” or even, “they saved me.” Both of these statements imply dependency on the partner; without said partner the individual is incomplete or somehow not whole. However, with the introduction of the partner, they are now a complete and whole person—what a joyous occasion. But what happens when the partner is removed from the relationship? Does the individual become incomplete and fall apart again?
If so, this creates an environment of dependency, which is an unhealthy relationship style. Even though the above mentioned statement is usually not one hundred percent accurate, our culture has welcomed this unhealthy belief centered on completion found in another.
I feel as if the phrase “my partner compliments me” is not only much healthier but also leads to a more secure individual and relationship. For example, I am completely in love with my fiancé; however, he does not complete me but he definitely compliments me. He may share a lot of similar interests but he differs and challenges me every day. These challenges are extremely important, without them we become stuck in the same stages and life and love can get boring. Challenges create an environment to grow together and not apart. Different, opposing, and challenging views help promote introspection and individual growth as well. Most people don’t want a partner who believes one hundred percent the same as they do; nobody wants to be with a parrot of themselves. Boring!!
So, the point to take away here is to find a partner that compliments you, not completes you. Become your own whole individual and find that partner that pushes and pulls with you.
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