Speak Now #1

Almost four years have gone since I drove away watching you break down in your red car. I would be lying if claimed that your tear streaked pained face doesn’t still haunt me. Before you I had never experienced devotion and affection; it was brand new to me. And I loved it, I was happy. I enjoyed being with an individual that was supportive of both my job (even if he knew the pains and was determined to get me out) and my academic career.

In fact there wasn’t much I didn’t enjoy about the time we spent together. Every day was exciting and interesting—always something new. Every day was like a fairytale, with the sweetest gestures and words. Any girl would dream of having what I had with you. Yet, it wasn’t enough. And that is completely unfair to you.

I know the years have passed yet the guilt has yet to surpass. You did nothing to deserve the pain I caused, yet I do not regret it. I am, however, sorry that what you gave me was not enough to satisfy my young heart desires. I want to have a career and go places with my life, not stay where I was raised….our ambitions were radically different and would not have worked in the long run. I am sure you see this now, after the dust has settled and we have both gone in our respective ways.

Yet, I had to tell you. It has been haunting me and you needed to know that I am sincerely sorry for the pain.