STRESS

Stress, he’s a nasty little booger. At one point in my life I was a stress basket, literally. I stressed about anything and everything, no matter the size. School was a stressor, work was a stressor, cheerleading and dance were both stressors, my family was a stressor, the car was a stressor, sports and activities were a stressor, and relationships were a stressor. If it was an aspect of life, it caused me stress.

Obviously, this is unhealthy. It has been shown that Type A personalities have a higher chance of having cardiovascular problems in their future. Stressing too much is unhealthy and can have lifelong effects. In undergrad I took a stress management course and committed myself to really incorporating the information and trying to make some changes. The course helped a bit; however, with three other courses and life going on I didn’t succeed but so much.

Recently, however, I have regained control over my life and things don’t really stress me like they once did. I attribute this to lots of different things, mainly my fiancé. So much has come out of my relationship that I honestly can admit that I would be a completely different person if it wasn’t for him. He not only broke through my defenses and unlocked my chains to release the true me but he also showed me that life is fun, not a competition. With him I have solidified my personality, my religious beliefs, my political beliefs, and my future goals. Finding out who I am (and my perfect match) has really eased some stress. That, and the introduction of yoga into my life; which I can again thank my fiancé for.

Anyway, this is about stress, not how amazing my future husband is. I don’t stress over things anymore. I let them ride and I concentrate on the here and now. Graduate school is difficult and time consuming; however, I’m staying on top of my course load and making great grades. No reason to stress, just learn the material and apply it. I’ve been rather surprised at my lack of stress regarding classes. Work should stress me out, “owning” your own business is extremely stressful, but it doesn’t—things will work out one way or the other.

I’ve been pretty much stress free and loving it. I had almost forgotten what stressing out felt like. Until now. As I look at the upcoming calendar I can feel some of the stress creeping back up in my soul. All of my big assignments are coming due and all of them are due on either one of two days (with the exception of exams). I have one test and two papers due in a week and a half; four papers due in three and a half weeks. It is definitely crunch time and I am beginning to feel it.

Not only is graduate school coming to a close (this semester) stressing me out (slightly) but also I am trying to move out in a little less than two months. Now, I’ve been planning this for a while and it is not a money issue—that does not worry or stress me—it is a moving issue. Nothing really stresses me out quite like backing your entire life up and moving away from home, it’s stressful; especially starting out brand new without having necessary items.
Add to that a wedding to plan and I’m reaching my threshold. Funny that three years ago this would have been just another day in my life and now three major life events (ok two plus graduate school) and my self-composure begins to unravel. Note that the wedding planning is stressful enough on its own.

What have I done to combat this old foe? Well, I tried last night and failed. First, let me say last night was when I realized everything was coming due on either one of two days and I had been looking at wedding stuff. I tried to paint my nails (showing off a diamond really makes you notice how bad your nails look) and after 30 minutes of trying and continually smudging or chipping them, I got angry and gave up. That’s when I knew there was a problem. Not having my trusty iPod with my relaxation music, I improvised the best I could and spent about another 45 minutes doing relaxation yoga postures and “meditation” (it’s in quotes because I’m not skilled or anything) followed by a restful sleep.

Life is full and complex, and totally worth it. Some points are stressful but it’s all worth it in the end. Taking a bunch of classes is totally stressful, especially with lots of assignments, but receiving that Master’s degree and working in a field I love will be worth it. Moving is stressful but waking up and coming home to my own place, with my love, will be worth it. And planning a wedding is stressful, but being surrounded by people we love and celebrating the story of us will be worth it…especially years from now when we look back in smile.