Fathers, be good to your daughters

At what point does one give up and stop giving out chances? How many times must one be let down and hurt before it is acceptable to move on with one’s life?

I have spent my entire life being let down and pushed around by my father, yet I always went back for more. No matter how many performances and birthdays he missed, I still went running to him. He was my dad and I was daddy’s little girl.

The older I got, the more absent it became. It was easy to forgive his disappearances as a child, but as an adult, I find it harder to let each disappointment slide. I’ve watched many close friends (and family members) give up on their loved ones and write them out of their lives; I was never strong enough to do the same. I didn’t want to do the same; I wanted to prove the world wrong and prove that strained relationships can heal. I watched my best friend of seventeen years lose her father without really having a relationship with him and that’s when I really started to try to make it work, for my sake, for her sake.

Unfortunately, the effort was one-sided. With each push I asserted, my father seemed to slide farther and farther away from me and closer and closer to his fiancé and her children. It got to the point that I only saw him at Christmas, my birthday, and during the summers at the lake (where I could be his drinking partner).

Fast forward a few years and nothing has changed. I have not seen my father or had a conversation with him in four months. The only communication we have had has been short “one-liners” initiated by me. I have not even been invited to the lake house once this summer. There is a new woman and child in his life and I don’t suppose I will be hearing from him until this one decides to up and leave for Oregon, again. I suppose he will lie about that again.

As one can tell, I am quite used to this treatment; it is a natural progression in the life of Tiffany. But this time, I am beyond tired of it. I have recently watched my boyfriend rid his life of a toxic parent and watched the marvelous transformation take place. It is time for my transformation into a beautiful butterfly.